No one wants to be visiting an oncology department. There is a certain heaviness and tension that is present when you are there. While the administrative staff are amazingly friendly, it is still a disconcerting place to be. Some are there with their elderly parents, some are there with their spouse, some are there with…
Author: Jeff Koch
Thank you for checking out This Side of Sunshine! I have had a variety of life experiences. I have been a public speaker, firefighter, minister, non-profit board-member, writer, blogger, college professor, and government administrator. I am a father of three, a grandfather of two, and was the husband to Lyn for nearly 30 years.
In 2019 Lyn passed away, so it is my honor to write a blog about what we learned about life, love, cancer, family, friends, laughter, faith, eternity, grief, and hope. During her journey, we learned how important it was to live in the present, but also keep moving forward in life. This blog is about what we learned, but it's also about how to move forward through grief after loss.
I have a Bachelor of Arts in Religion from the University of Sioux Falls, and a Master of Divinity from Sioux Falls Seminary, Sioux Falls, SD.
The Importance of Hope
I have heard from many friends that this time of year is brutally difficult for those that have lost a loved one. I concur. In November I would have celebrated my 30th anniversary with my wife. On the heels of our anniversary was Thanksgiving, and then we immediately launched into the Christmas rush. This Christmas…
Enjoy Life Now
Just as I am working through my grief from my wife’s death, there are many that have come beside me that are also working through a cancer journey, life-threatening issues, and grief. A few days ago, I learned a longtime friend received news that the cancer he has been battling for many years has spread….
Choosing the Type of Life You Want to Live
When Lyn was diagnosed with cancer, she clearly thought about how she wanted to live going forward. Lyn began her cancer journey with the end in mind and that shaped how she would respond in the face of daily challenges. Because she started her journey with the end in mind, she knew how she would…
Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving
The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Today is Thanksgiving and I felt it necessary to post a second blog this week and give thanks for the blessings I have in life. Today as I awoke and exercised I was reminded…
Discussing Treatment Options as a Team
When a cancer patient is trying to cope with diagnosis, and decide on a treatment option, it can be overwhelming. Thankfully in our case we functioned as a team and I was able to ask questions, convey Lyn’s thoughts, and I took countless notes in an organized binder. I had printouts of medications and their…
Grieving Through Anniversaries and Milestones
I do. These two simple words were the most important words I ever said to my wife. The pastor asked, “Jeff, if you take Lyn to be your wife, please repeat by saying I do?” My answer to the question was obviously, “I do” I wasn’t an idiot! I was a very lucky man. As…
Breaking the News of a Diagnosis
Breaking the news to others that a loved one has cancer is very difficult and emotional. I was the first to know that my wife had brain cancer. As explained in an earlier post, I was pulled out of her hospital room at 10:00 PM on Mother’s Day and informed of the devastating news. It…
Don’t Waste Time With Blame
In an age where seemingly everything that happens is on video, it’s fairly easy to determine who is to blame, or to set a direction for the investigation. It is a natural human emotion to try and determine what happened when something horrible occurs, so we can attempt to understand and have some level of…
It’s Easy to Take the Normal Things for Granted
When one is diagnosed with cancer, the first few weeks are extremely busy. As my wife (Lyn) began the battle, our days were exhausting. Because Lyn was working on speech therapy, this made her very tired as her brain worked overtime toward recovery. However, because she was on a brain steroid to prevent inflammation, sleeping…