From This Point On, We Chose Joy

When someone is diagnosed with cancer it is a very strange place to be. When my wife was diagnosed it was simply unreal at first. My mind kept denying that this happened, and I was ready to wake up from a bad dream! Once the battle begins there is a flurry of activity that is incredibly stressful and emotional.

When my wife was released from the hospital, we returned home. However, within minutes of being home we received a call from the radiology department scheduling Lyn for a higher definition brain MRI for later that same day! We were shocked how rapidly things were already moving.

Moving rapidly was somewhat comforting because the cancer patient and caregiver are desperate for an answer to the question; “How serious is my cancer?” Moments after the radiology department scheduled her for the MRI, the cancer center called and wanted to set an oncology appointment in less than 48 hours.

We quickly realized how important it was for us to get quick appointments, and rapid turnaround results for bloodwork, CT Scans, and MRIs. There was nothing worse than having to wait for news—good or bad. We were thankful that Lyn’s medical team recognized how grueling it was for a patient to wait for test results. They were almost always very quick in reporting results.

As we were on our way to the first oncology appointment we had already spent a lot of time in prayer. At this point we knew this was not just a bad dream, and we were praying that there were treatment options. I recall exiting the highway to the offramp and sitting at a stoplight. While waiting, I asked Lyn how she was doing on a stress and emotional level, and if there was something I needed to be doing for her.

As a reminder, Lyn could not speak at this time due to the stroke, so it was difficult to communicate and ensure we were on the same page. We worked through an iPad app, our phones, and pictures to try and communicate. This was all so new to me and I needed to make sure that I was not neglecting her emotional or physical needs while focusing on appointments. To my relief she was able to convey that she was doing okay, and her stress level was low. I recall thinking, “How can your stress level be low in a situation like this?”

Lyn’s stress level was low because her stress level was always low! Lyn’s faith surpassed my faith by leaps and bounds. An example of this strong faith was seen in the early years of our marriage. Nearly 20 years earlier one of our children had an illness that we thought could be serious. I was a complete mess because it was something I could not control. But Lyn remained calm and told me, “I am comforted, and I have peace that God is in control, because I don’t have control over illness.”  It’s amazing how the strength of her faith kept her calm.

Lyn was a strong woman of faith and trust in God. I do not want to convey that she believed that everything that happened was good, because it’s not. Her cancer was not good, and she never saw it that way. However, Lyn believed that everything that happened would be used by God for His purpose, and He would bring something good out of the situation, which included her cancer. Lyn said many times, “I want God to use my cancer for something good.”

A Bible verse that was important to us during Lyn’s journey was Romans 8:28 (NIV) – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

We sat in the parking lot and prayed before entering the first oncology appointment. I prayed that God would provide us with a doctor that would give us a message of hope. We needed hope. It was difficult to fully grasp the cancer diagnosis in such a short period of time. 

We exited the car and went into oncology. Lyn’s name was called quickly, and we met with an oncologist that was an answer to the parking lot prayer. The oncologist reviewed Lyn’s entire case with us. In the end she told Lyn, “I see hope. Lyn be thankful that you have the cancer now and not five years ago. Five years ago, we had no real treatment. We have treatments that may help you. I see HOPE.” 

This first oncologist we saw delivered the perfect message at the perfect time. As we left the office and headed to the car we were thankful for the news and answer to prayer. We had amazing joy in the face of great sorrow and struggle and began to see the blessing of answered prayer. In the past I have never been able to understand how people in horrible situations could be thankful or have joy in the midst of tragedy, trauma, or turbulence. 

Lyn was starting an incredibly difficult journey of cancer treatment, and stroke recovery. Yet for the first time in life we started to grasp how others were able to have joy and happiness even when there was turbulence.

From this point on, we chose joy.