Lynette Marie Koch April 21, 1968 – June 13, 2019

A year ago, I had to say goodbye to the woman I met on June 22, 1986. I first met Lyn at a pool party with a bunch of my guy friends. Lyn was brought over to hangout, and I am pretty sure she was mortified of the immaturity she observed that day. It’s no small miracle that a little over a year later we started to date. We were friends for a year, we dated for a year, and were engaged for a year, before getting married in 1989. When we married, Lyn was only 21, and I was 24.

When one is young, it is nearly impossible to envision the end. When one is young, there is a sense of invincibility, and the end seems so far off. For me, I remember looking at my grandparents and parents, and thinking, “They are so old! We have so long to live!” While in one sense this is true, but in the other sense, we do not get to necessarily choose when, and how the end will come for us.

Nothing in life prepares us for death. We can be spiritually prepared, and in my wife’s case, she had a vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ, and believed in the promise of God where it says in Ephesians 2:8-9; “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.”

I have heard it said, “The moment we take our first breath is the moment we start the process of dying.” While this is true, for those of us that remain on this side of sunshine, nothing really prepares us for the day we have to say goodbye to our loved one.

Additionally, while a doctor may tell us, “The end is near,” nothing softens the blow. When my wife passed away a year ago, I experienced pain like I have never felt before. Since Lyn’s passing, I have spent a significant amount of time with people going through the grief process. I have found that those of us experiencing grief of any kind, find comfort and healing by sharing our stories and our lives. Our loss or grief may not be the same, but I have discovered there is comfort to be found through the shared tears.

Lyn and I talked about our love, our faith, and moving forward if the cancer we could not control would take Lyn’s life. On June 13, 2019, at approximately 2:15 PM, I had to say goodbye to my wife of nearly 30 years. Lyn was an amazing woman of God, a loving wife, an incredible mom to Breanna, Jordan, and Garrett, and a faithful friend to all.

The words below are my eulogy to Lyn at her Celebration of Life Service. I have also included the link to her Celebration of Life Service, which will highlight better than my words the type of woman Lyn was.

On behalf of my family, and extended family, we thank you for the years of love, support, prayer, and encouragement. We love you.

Lyn’s Eulogy: My words at Lyn’s Celebration of Life – June 24, 2019

In putting down thoughts for today, I wanted to make sure I kept this as a celebration of life and not just an obituary or simple eulogy that gives the vital information. I hope to paint a portrait of Lyn’s life.

Lyn will be missed very much. As I have sat and contemplated her life, and her life with me, and our children, I become emotional. Emotion is a beautiful thing, and without it, life would be strange. It would be strange because we have lost something valuable and beautiful. When I have these moments, I quickly thank God for the perfect and beautiful gift he gave me (and our children) for more than 30 years.

Lynette Marie Koch was born on April 21, 1968, and peacefully entered eternity to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ on June 13, 2019.

Lyn was an amazing wife to me for nearly 30 years. We were married in Elk Grove on November 18, 1989.  Lyn was a proud mom of our daughter Breanna, of Sacramento, California, son Jordan, who also lives in Sacramento, and son Garrett, Elk Grove, California.

Additionally, Lyn is also survived by her sister Cindy Chapman, of Highland Falls, New York, and brother Craig Helms, of Sacramento, multiple nieces and nephews, and extended family.

Lyn was born to Norris and Carolyn Helms in Warren Michigan. Lyn resided in Michigan until her move to Anaheim, California, when she was 9 years old.

At age 18, Lyn moved to Elk Grove, immediately after high school graduation. Lyn’s father was one of our pastors here at this church (then First Baptist Church, Elk Grove).

Her father wasn’t in the office, but I was invited to check out the new minister’s office. I saw Lyn’s high school senior portrait and I said, “I am going to need to get to know her!” By the way, there is someone here today that remembers me saying this. It was attraction at first sight. I knew I would end up with her.

Shortly thereafter, Lyn moved to Elk Grove, and we met as part of our college/career group at church.

Lyn went to work for Raley’s Supermarket corporate office in West Sacramento, while going to college.

After a year as friends, we decided to go out on a date. On a side note, she was the one that actually asked me out. She had won San Francisco Forty Niner tickets at a Raley’s Corporate event from the Oscar Myer Wiener Mobile in a raffle. She asked me to the game, and the rest was history.

She always told people that she agreed to date, and eventually marry me, so I would stop playing immature practical jokes on her. There is some truth to this.

Lyn was incredibly mathematical, gifted in sorting out the most complex issues, and bringing resolution. This helped her in her career.

Lyn was also incredibly artistic. She had a graphic design degree, and she utilized her skills in many ways. She painted murals, paintings, rocks, scenes on furniture, and many drawings. Lyn also began a graphic design business and operated the business until the family moved to Sioux Falls, South Dakota in 1994.

Lyn and our family lived in Sioux Falls until 1998, and moved to Fontana, California until 2005, where she was the office manager at a church and a preschool. During this period, Lyn also started a business teaching piano. She had many students, including teaching our children how to teach piano. I was a lost cause, so I never learned!

In 2005, Lyn and our family returned home to Elk Grove where she began a new career with the State of California. Lyn worked at the Board of Equalization from 2005-2016. She was overqualified, but she took the job to get her foot in the door.

Lyn embarked in a new position with the State in April 2016 at the Department of General Services as a manager in the Office of Strategic Planning. She absolutely enjoyed what she did, and the people she worked with. She called them her work family.

Lyn was a faithful servant of Jesus Christ. Lyn taught Sunday School for children, worked in youth ministry with junior high students, and assisted in teaching college and career in more recent years.

Lyn was also gifted musically, and at times played piano for several different churches. In more recent years Lyn played in the Creekside Christian Church bell choir. She really enjoyed playing with her ding-a-lings.

She had a wonderful sense of humor. Even while battling cancer for more than two years, she would find opportunities to laugh hard, and joke around. Once she would start laughing, there was no stopping her! It was contagious, and our children purposely tried to get mom to laugh because she couldn’t stop. Breanna told me the other day that one time they got mom laughing so hard in the car she said, “I have to pull the car over.”

My wife loved time with family, swimming, baseball, playing golf, tennis with Breanna, concerts, quilting, knitting, crocheting, and many other crafts.

She was always eager to invite friends over for dinner. Her two little dogs, Oliver (Ollie) and Milo always brought a smile to her face, and they would sit next to momma in the evenings. She loved peanut butter milkshakes, dark chocolate, Frappuccino’s, a good beer, and her Sunday drive to the country to get her strawberries.

Lyn enjoyed camping and the outdoors. She started hiking about 20 years ago and completed many difficult climbs in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. One of her favorite accomplishments was climbing Half Dome in Yosemite.

Lyn was always dreaming and planning the next travel adventure, and her two favorite vacations were Ireland, and last year’s two-week East Coast fall foliage trip. Travel allowed her to see the beautiful things that God created for her.

Besides her love for God, Lyn loved her family most. She loved taking trips. She really enjoyed being able to go out for dinner as a couple. Lyn looked forward to her annual mother-daughter trip with Breanna, golfing with her son Jordan, and going to the movies and lunch with her son Garrett. In fact, I have a number of gift cards that were given to Lyn for her birthday in April. One of the cards is Fandango, and I told Garrett yesterday, “Mom is going to take you to the movies the next time with this gift card.”

Watching her two sons play baseball was one of her joys in life, because it brought them such joy. Getting pampered with a manicure and pedicure with her daughter brought a bright smile to her face.

As Lyn and I talked about her life over the past two years she would point out what things were important to her, and one was music. Certain songs, either being sung today, or in a video we will show, or a song in the slide presentation were incredibly important to her because they spoke to the feelings, or how God was working in her life.

For instance, the Danny Gokey song which is in a slide presentation, “Tell your heart to beat again,” was special to her because it’s a song about getting yourself back up when your heart feels like it has been crushed.

And on Mother’s Day, May 14, 2017, Lyn’s life changed forever. It changed the life of our family. There was a decision that Lyn made immediately. She decided to get up and not only fight cancer but realize that she was going to control what she could control in her life—her daily joy and happiness. NEVER once did Lyn complain about her disease. She chose to not allow cancer to control her.

A song that will be heard today is, MercyMe, “Only if.” Lyn absolutely wanted to be healed from her cancer. She wanted to live here on this earth. So, while she told her heart to beat again and LIVE, she also recognized that she could not control life, or her cancer.

There is a line in the song, “Only If”, that states:

It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You’re able, and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

Lyn wanted healing (like we all did) and knew God could heal her through his mighty hand, or medicine, or technology, but “even if” he didn’t, her hope remained in God.

Hope for what, some ask. Hope for the eternal life she is experiencing now!

Lyn has ALWAYS been an incredible woman of faith and believed in God’s provision. She a had faith that was strong and mature. She worried very little throughout my entire journey with her. I was the worrier. She had an incredible way to trust God in whatever was going on. One of her last journal entries she wrote: “I can let go to God. He knows what I can handle.”

In the fifty-one years of Lyn’s life, she truly lived, had fun, and left a legacy. Lyn will be missed very much by her family and friends. It’s painful to say goodbye, but we are comforted that she is no longer battling cancer, and that she is now with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in heaven for all eternity, where we will someday be reunited.

Lyn finished well. She finished the race as 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 states in your programs.

²⁴ Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. ²⁵ Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. ²⁶ Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. ²⁷ No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (NIV)

For those of us that are still here on this side of sunshine…she left a legacy for us to follow as well.

Click to watch Lyn’s 2019 Celebration of Life Service https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTY2MPYEua0