Seeking Normalcy After Diagnosis

Receiving a cancer diagnosis is very heart-wrenching for the patient, for the family, and for the support team. After the diagnosis, it is also very difficult to think of anything but the cancer. Normal life is pushed aside as the patient and caregiver contemplate the upcoming treatment and pray for some element of good news to bring hope.

For me, it was nearly impossible to have any normal thoughts for quite some time. Prayer and spending time with my wife provided amazing peace. However, it was easy to quickly revert to allowing cancer to dominate thoughts. Diagnosis seemingly interrupted everything in my life. My eating changed, work became unimaginable, I had zero energy to exercise, and even responding to text messages seemed overwhelming. The battle becomes both physical and mental for the patient, caregiver, and the family.

When Lyn received the diagnosis, the mental-battle was not only dealing with the diagnosis, but also wondering how deep the rabbit hole went since she was also focusing on stroke recovery. One of the cancer spots in the brain ruptured a blood vessel causing the stroke, which was the first indicator there was a problem. Lyn was unable to speak, drink, swallow, breathe through her nose and had weakness on her right side.

The hospital speech pathologist immediately started working with Lyn in hopes of having the brain reroute the damaged functions to a new part of the brain. I wrote in an earlier blog, by the morning of day two, the brain was starting to make these changes and we had growing optimism.

My wife’s first accomplishment was to make the “S” sound by just breathing and trying to formulate that sound as she pushed air out of her month. It was incredibly difficult for her to make that sound and we both knew this was going to be a lengthy recovery. We worked on the “S” sound over and over, along with writing exercises, drawing simple pictures, writing names and sentences. What was interesting and amazing was that Lyn was able to sign her name almost perfectly, along with writing in cursive the names of her family members. Yet most words were simply gone, and she was unable to write them or form any sentences.

To be released from the hospital and begin cancer treatment, Lyn needed to reach some benchmark goals. Lyn would be required to have the ability to swallow water and eat puree or finely chopped foods. Thankfully Lyn began to make progress by chewing on an ice chip and having a bite of applesauce.

It is remarkable how quickly the concern for the, “important things in life,” were replaced with Lyn simply being able to swallow applesauce and ice chips! As a family we were working together to encourage one another, and to assist Lyn reach her benchmark goals so she could get home. We were ready to get out of the hospital, so we could start scheduling appointments to deal with the cancer.

We had an amazing support team emerging. Some of our support team prayed for Lyn, some brought meals to the hospital, and some sent cards and flowers to the house to lift our spirits. Lyn and I could not imagine trying to go on this journey alone. We quickly recognized that God surrounded us with a small army of supporters that we desperately needed and appreciated.

By the fourth day in the hospital Lyn was able to swallow thickened water, eat finely chopped foods and ice chips. It was finally time to get released from the hospital and start managing her situation one day at a time. We were headed home.

It was a strange drive home from the hospital. We had the music of a Christian radio station playing, and I did all the talking since Lyn did not have the ability to talk.

While we still had no idea about the journey ahead of us, it was comforting for Lyn to get to this point and be heading for familiar surroundings. We took for granted the normal, and almost boring things in life. We were seeking normalcy after diagnosis, and we found something very simple—our home. Our home was a tremendous comfort.

Within minutes of being home, we were contacted for her first oncology appointment two days later.

The treatment journey had begun, but at least we were home and feeling somewhat normal.